Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
People in love make me want to vomit
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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