I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
