real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
