Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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