im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
time to smoke my breakfast
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
