I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
