You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize