her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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