i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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