i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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