Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
