She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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