Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
