69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
