How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
