it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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