she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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