You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
