Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
