I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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