**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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