I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
