my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
