You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
