he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
