When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
