you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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