A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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