My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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