Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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