i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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