theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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