D3 body, D1 cock
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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