I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
