the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
