Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
