I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
