i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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