My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
