He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize