The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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