Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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