she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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