She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
