Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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