Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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