Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
