i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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