his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
