I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
