don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize