i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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