next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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