tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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