Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
