i'm signing you up for texting rehab
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just tell him i said nine months
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
