We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
