Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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