What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize